So, you finally met a guy who doesn’t give you the ick. His hair? Fluffy perfection. His Spotify playlist? Surprisingly elite. His texts? Fast, flirty, and full of potential.
But wait, why does his ex keep lurking in the background like a ghost in a horror movie? If you’ve got a nagging feeling that she’s still living rent-free in his mind, trust your gut. Here are 7 painfully obvious signs he’s NOT over her (and what you can do about it).
1. He Mentions Her… A Lot.
Oh, she was so funny. She totally got him. She made the best grilled cheese sandwiches. Blah blah blah.
Red flag alert! If her name pops up in conversations more often than your own, he’s still mentally stuck in their highlight reel. Instead of competing with a memory, ask him straight up: Do you see a future with me, or are you still living in the past? If he stutters, you have your answer.
2. He Still Follows Every Move She Makes
Why is he liking her throwback pics from 2019? Why does he know she’s on vacation in Bali? Why is he still watching her stories before yours?!
If he’s more invested in her life than in your weekend plans, that’s a big NOPE. Unfollow. Mute. Move on.
3. He Compares You to Her
If you hear the words, “She used to do it like this…” one more time, you might actually lose it.
Listen, you are NOT a reboot of his past relationship. You’re the main character of your love story. If he keeps comparing, remind him you’re not her replacement and he needs to start appreciating you for who you are.
4. He’s Weirdly Defensive About Their Friendship
“We’re just friends!” he insists, but why does he get all cagey when you ask about their late-night texts? If he’s acting like the FBI when you casually ask if they still talk, he’s hiding something.
Transparency is key, bestie. If he can’t be open about their “friendship,” he’s probably still emotionally tangled up in it.
5. He Hasn’t Deleted Their Old Pics
Look, keeping one group vacation pic? Fine. But an entire scrapbook of their happiest moments on his Instagram? SUS ALERT!
If he refuses to let go of their old couple photos, he might still be clinging to their relationship. You deserve someone who’s looking forward, not backward.
6. His Friends Still Talk About Her
If his best friend slips and says, “Oh, wow, you’re just like [Ex’s Name]!” or his mom still gushes about how much she adored his ex, sis… you’re stepping into enemy territory.
This means everyone still sees her as “the one that got away.” And that’s NOT your problem to fix.
7. He’s Emotionally Unavailable
Does he pull back every time you try to get close? Does he dodge serious convos about commitment? If he’s treating you like a placeholder while he “figures things out,” then you are NOT the problem.
The truth? If he’s not ready to give you all his love, then he doesn’t deserve any of it. PERIOD.
So, What Now?
You’re not about to waste your time waiting for him to get over his ex, right? Good. Here’s what you do:
- Set boundaries. Tell him what you will and will not tolerate.
- Protect your peace. You deserve a relationship that makes you feel secure.
- Upgrade your self-care game. Because, let’s be honest, nothing heals like a glow-up.
Speaking of glow-ups, have you tried The Ultimate Breakup Glow Kit?
It’s got EVERYTHING you need: a mood-boosting face mask, a confidence-boosting journal, and a playlist that screams main character energy. Because if he’s not over his ex, you’re about to be over him.
Final Thoughts
If you recognize three or more of these signs, it’s time to ask yourself: Do I really want to be someone’s second choice? You deserve a guy who’s all in, not one who’s still crying over his past.
What do you think? Have you ever dated a guy who was still hung up on his ex? Spill the tea in the comments!