Alright, girl. So, you finally scored that date with the guy you’ve been stalking, I mean, casually observing, on Instagram. You did your homework: checked his tagged photos (to confirm he’s not a catfish), scrolled through his Spotify playlists (to judge his music taste), and, of course, verified his star sign (because compatibility matters).
But before you start imagining wedding hashtags, let’s talk about the red flags that can turn that dream date into a walking disaster. Because, babe, if you ignore these signs, you might just end up in a never-ending situationship. And nobody has time for that.
1. He Shows Up Looking Like He Just Rolled Out of a Dumpster
First impressions matter! If he’s wearing a wrinkled tee with mysterious stains, didn’t bother to put on deodorant, or looks like he’s been surviving solely on Mountain Dew and video games, RUN. If he can’t put in effort on a first date, just imagine how little he’ll care later.
2. He Only Talks About Himself
If you’re 20 minutes in and know his entire life story, his childhood trauma, his ex’s middle name, and what he ate for lunch last Thursday, but he hasn’t asked you a single question, This is not a TED Talk, sir.
3. He’s Rude to the Waitstaff
This is a major test. If he’s snapping at the waiter, being unnecessarily demanding, or doesn’t say “thank you,” congratulations, you’ve just met a walking ick. Trust me, if he treats servers badly, he’ll treat you the same way eventually.
4. He Brings Up His Ex… A Lot
One casual mention? Fine. A deep dive into how she did him dirty? RUN. If he’s still analyzing her texts, sis, he’s not over her. You are not his therapist. Next!
5. He Has Zero Future Goals
You: “So, what do you wanna do in the next five years?”
Him: “Uh, I dunno. Just chilling, I guess.”
If his biggest ambition is getting past level 10 in some video game, do yourself a favor and ghost. Life’s too short to date a human couch potato.
6. His Phone Is His Real Date
If he’s checking Snapchat, replying to group chats, or scrolling TikTok mid-conversation, he’s showing you exactly where you rank on his priority list: somewhere between his fantasy football team and his DoorDash order.
7. He Tries to Guilt You Into Anything
“Why don’t you wanna come back to my place?” “Come on, don’t be boring.” “Just one more drink.”
- MAJOR
- RED
- FLAG
If he’s pressuring you into anything, no matter how small, that’s your cue to leave immediately. Respect is non-negotiable.
8. He Has No Idea How to Handle a Bill
Not saying he has to pay for everything, but if he suddenly “forgets his wallet,” suggests you “split a $4 coffee,” or stares at the check like it’s written in hieroglyphics, just know you’re in for a lifetime of Venmo requests.
9. Your Gut Is Screaming “Nope”
Sis, your intuition is your superpower. If something feels off, even if you can’t pinpoint why, trust it. Your subconscious picks up on things before you do.
The First-Date Savior You NEED
Okay, let’s be real. Dating is basically a game of survival of the fittest. And sometimes, you just wanna exit a bad date gracefully without the awkward “I have an early morning” excuse.
Enter: The Fake Emergency Text App.
With one tap, it sends you a perfectly timed fake text or call from your “friend” who suddenly needs you. Instant escape route. And guess what? It’s totally free. Download it now and thank me later.
Final Thoughts: Spill the Tea!
What’s the biggest red flag you have ever encountered on a first date? Drop your horror stories in the comments below. And if this post saved you from wasting your time on a walking red flag, hit share, your friends deserve to know!