Let’s be real: sometimes, it feels like you’re dating a guy who thinks “effort” means remembering your birthday (barely) and liking your Insta post. Sis, you deserve more than “Netflix and chill” dates and half-hearted “wyd?” texts. If you’re tired of feeling like you’re in a one-sided situationship, it’s time to flip the script.
Here are 7 savage (but sweet) ways to make him step it up, without losing your mind or your standards.
1. Stop Doing the Most
If you’re always the one planning dates, texting first, and basically carrying the emotional weight of the relationship, it’s time to chill. Pull back. Give him space to miss you and realize your absence. You’re not his personal assistant, girl.
Pro tip: If he notices the shift and steps up, he’s worth your time. If he doesn’t? Well, you just saved yourself a lot of wasted energy.
2. Communicate Like a Queen
Drop the hints. Stop expecting him to read your mind (he won’t, sis). Instead, tell him what you need, clearly and confidently. Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s power. And if he’s worth it, he’ll respect that.
Power move: Say something like, “I value feeling appreciated in relationships. What do you think about that?”
3. Upgrade Your Standards (and Stick to Them)
If you’re accepting breadcrumbs, don’t be surprised when that’s all you get. Set your standards high and keep them there. You teach people how to treat you by what you allow.
Savage tip: Next time he drops a low-effort text, wait a bit. You’re not on call 24/7, babe.
4. Glow Up and Go Out
Sometimes, a little mystery goes a long way. Post that cute pic, go out with friends, and live your best life. A confident, happy you is magnetic. If he sees you’re thriving, he’ll realize he’s got to level up to keep up.
Bonus: You’ll have fun regardless. It’s a win-win.
5. Reward the Effort
Positive reinforcement isn’t just for puppies. When he does something thoughtful, acknowledge it. Let him know you appreciate real effort, not just the bare minimum.
Why? Because what gets rewarded gets repeated.
6. Stop Making Excuses for Him
“He’s just busy.” – Girl, we’re all busy. If he cares, he’ll make time. Stop justifying lazy behavior. It’s not cute, and it definitely isn’t love.
Reality check: If you’re making more excuses than memories, it’s time for a serious talk.
7. Be Ready to Walk
Here’s the tea: the strongest power move is being ready to walk if your needs aren’t met. Know your worth. If he’s not bringing effort to the table, maybe it’s time to dine elsewhere.
Mantra: “I’m the prize.” Say it until you believe it.
The Bottom Line? You deserve a relationship that feels like effort, not exhaustion. And if he’s really into you, he’ll put in the work. If not? Well, there’s a whole world of better options out there. Either way, you win.
Now go out there and be the standard, because you are the standard.