Alright, bestie, so you just got dumped (or did the dumping, proud of you, queen). Either way, breakups suck harder than your ex when they were begging for you back the first time. You’re probably feeling a mix of emotions: heartbreak, relief, rage, the sudden urge to cut bangs at 2 a.m. while blasting Olivia Rodrigo. I get it.
But listen up: There are some serious post-breakup crimes you MUST avoid unless you want to spiral into full-blown regret mode. Let’s save you from making choices that’ll have you cringing harder than your ex’s last text.
1. DO NOT Text Them (Seriously, Put the Phone Down)
I know, I know. Your fingers are twitching. You just want closure (aka an excuse to hear their voice again). But babe, let’s be real, texting them isn’t about closure; it’s about reopening a wound that needs to heal.
Instead, block, mute, or do whatever you need to prevent yourself from sending that “I miss us” text at 1 a.m. You deserve peace, not recycled heartbreak.
2. DON’T Stalk Them Online Like a CIA Agent
Unfollowing? A+ move. But lurking on their stories from a burner account? Babe, no. Refreshing their IG to see if they’re already out with someone new? DOUBLE NO. The only thing you’ll find is pain, delusion, and proof that they were never as funny as you made them out to be.
Instead, take a digital detox. Go outside. Touch some grass.
3. DO NOT Get a “Revenge” Makeover You’ll Regret
Listen, there is a right way and a wrong way to glow up post-breakup. The right way? Investing in your skin, health, and wardrobe like the baddie you are. The wrong way? A box-dye disaster, botched bangs, or a piercing you didn’t even want.
Want an instant glow-up that won’t leave you sobbing in the bathroom mirror? Try the Glow Goddess Skincare Kit, a Gen Z holy grail for clear, radiant, breakup-proof skin. Because nothing screams “I’m thriving” louder than a post-breakup glow that makes your ex weep in regret.
4. DON’T Jump into a New Situationship Just to “Get Over Them”
Rebounding with someone just because they’re available? Babe, let’s not. You’re setting yourself up for another heartbreak speed-run. Healing takes time, and your heart isn’t a rental property, no sublets allowed.
5. DO NOT Romanticize the Relationship That Just Ended
Was it really that good? Or are you just conveniently forgetting the gaslighting, the bare-minimum effort, and the mysterious Snapchat best friends list they swore was “just their cousin”?
Instead of rewriting history, write a list of every reason why they were NOT your person. Keep it handy for when the nostalgia hits (because trust me, it will).
6. DON’T Let This Breakup Define You
Yes, it’s painful. Yes, you’re allowed to cry. But don’t let this moment dictate your future. You’re still that girl, with or without them. Use this time to focus on you. Journal. Travel. Get that dream job. And, of course, treat yourself to a self-care glow-up that makes you feel like the baddest version of yourself.
Final Thoughts: You’re That Girl, Act Like It
Breakups suck, but they also open doors to bigger, better things (like glowing skin, a thriving social life, and the peace that comes from not dating a walking red flag). So if you take away one thing from this list, let it be this: You don’t need them. They need you.
Now, go hit “add to cart” on that Glow Goddess Skincare Kit and let your ex witness your glow-up from the sidelines. And if you’ve got a post-breakup horror story, spill the tea in the comments, I need to hear this.