Ladies, gather ‘round. We need to talk. Specifically, we need to talk about him, the boy who texts just enough to keep you hooked but disappears like a Snapchat streak you forgot to save. The one who’s giving “I like you” vibes one minute and “I lowkey have a whole roster” energy the next. We’ve ALL been there.
So, how do you know if he’s actually into you or just playing you like a Spotify playlist? Here are five foolproof ways to crack the code. Because you deserve real love, not whatever ick-infested game he’s playing.
1. He Texts You… But Only When It’s Convenient for Him
You: Wow, he finally texted me back!
Him: “Hey, wyd?” at 11:47 PM
Bestie, this is what we call low-effort nonsense. If he only texts you when he’s bored, lonely, or suspiciously after his boys leave him on read, guess what? You’re not a priority, you’re a backup plan. A real one makes an effort all the time, not just when it’s convenient.
Action Step: Try this, don’t respond right away. If he ghosts you because you’re not instantly available, he was never serious about you to begin with.
2. You’re Always in the “Situationship” Gray Area
Have you been “talking” for months, but he avoids the “what are we?” conversation like it’s a final exam he forgot to study for? Red flag. If he really likes you, he will make it clear. No confusion, no overanalyzing, no deciphering his texts like they’re ancient hieroglyphs.
Action Step: Ask him directly, “Where do you see this going?” If he hits you with “I’m just vibing” or “Let’s not put labels on things,” run. FAST.
3. He Makes Plans… But Never Follows Through
If you have a dollar for every time he said, “We should hang out soon” but never actually set a date, you’d be rich enough to fly to Europe and forget he exists. Talk is cheap, and if he’s constantly flaking, he’s not serious.
Action Step: Stop making excuses for him. If he wanted to, he would. If he’s not making time for you, take the hint and make time for someone who will.
4. He’s Secretive About You (Like You’re in Witness Protection)
He’s got a full social media presence, posting his gym gains, flexing his sneakers, even showing off his dog, but you? Nowhere to be found. He avoids posting you, won’t introduce you to his friends, and dodges any sign of commitment like it’s the plague. This usually means one of two things:
- He’s hiding you because he’s not serious about you.
- He’s hiding you because you’re not the only one.
Either way, it’s giving
Action Step: Ask yourself, do you really want to be someone’s secret? If not, move on and find someone proud to show you off.
5. He’s Hot and Cold Like a Faulty Wi-Fi Signal
One day, he’s all over you. The next, he’s distant and “going through something.” He sends mixed signals so confusing they should come with a translator. That’s not deep, that’s emotional manipulation. If he’s inconsistent, it’s because he chooses to be.
Action Step: If he can’t be consistent with his feelings, you need to be consistent with your standards. Step back and let him go.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve More
If you recognize even ONE of these signs, sis, he’s playing you. And you? You are too valuable to be played like a cheap ukulele. Don’t settle for a half-hearted, bare-minimum situationship when there are actual kings out there who will treat you like the prize you are.
Know your worth. Add tax. And if he’s not stepping up, step out.
Who’s ready to level up in love? Drop a in the comments if you’re done with the games!